Love.

Love. If you look the meaning of this word in the dictionary, it means a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Sexual passion or desire. Sweet heart. It covers a wide range of meaning. But sometimes, we don't need to ask Mr. Webster for the true meaning of love. All we need to do is find it ourselves. Love isn't always about affection, sexual passion and infatuation. If you look deeper, Love means doing the thing you really hate as long it means doing it with the person you love. It means sacrificing without expecting something in return. It's Love when you became a better person everyday.


I've encountered so many couples. drowning each other with their so called "love". drenching themselves with promises. Bathing their inner selves with expectations. They seemed to be complete and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, time flies and their love fades. Their so called "love" is gone. Their promises are broken. Their expectations, destroyed. Instead, they drowned each other with not so good words. They drench themselves with tears. And they bathe their thoughts with the memories of the past. Let's face it. Love really hurts and it hurts like hell. It's not easy to move on. But its part of love and life.

Another thing, love has no boundaries. It doesn't matter if you're pretty or not, rich or poor, skinny or fat. Physical appearance and social status will never be the criteria for loving. Even wild beasts fell in love. Even bad girls and boys deserve to be loved.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. You and the person you love had it, you had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from your branches you both found that you were one tree and not two.

One of my Moments.

Yesterday, we had our Career Orientation. Several schools are invited and each one of them gives us their admission slips and all those stuffs that make my bag a little heavy. I thought yesterday is just one of my ordinary days and the only difference is that we're with boys. I can handle this. But DAMN! few hours later, I can't believe that the situations are now out of my control. Abby began shouting my name whenever the speakers are asking questions like "who sings well?", "who dance well?", "who's the best actress?" and so on. One of the speakers noticed this and told the whole batch of senior students that I'm a multi-talented person. How was that?! I can't even follow simple steps. Senior students laugh at this thought. I laugh too because I don't want to ruin their happiness. And what makes that day worst is that one of the speakers of FEU-east Asia linked me with one of the boys in front of the whole batch saying, " okay, now, kunwari si ***** saka si Kim mag boyfriend. blah blah blah" I was really really ashamed of what had happen then, the teacher added later "Kim, I love you daw sabi ng shout out ni *****..." . Now, I was a super star. I could see everybody laughing and I found myself laughing too but secretly cursing my classmates. And for the climax? the speaker of CCA asked ***** to give their souvenirs which is an apron to me. she asked him in front of all the 4Th year students and they're all shouted "ayieee!!!".


I was the center of attraction Yesterday and I can't hide my embarrassment. I wish I never come to school. I still have this feeling of embarrassment but as I said, there's nothing I can't handle. After all, I still love my classmates despite of what happened. Anyway, I can't change it. It's always there. My moment!

My Last Year as a Highschool Student.

Last Tuesday is the first day of school. I can't believe it. I'm already a senior student. I remember my past years in my school. when I'm a freshmen student, I find it hard to express myself. I'm shy and I have zero self-confident. When a person criticize me, even if it's true, I already hate her because back then, I hate seeing things in their proper perspective and I hate to know the truth for the truth hurts. But I met my two bestfriends when I was in first year. It's crazy cause we share the same interest and we support each other. Eventhough there are big difference in appearance and attitude and they always compare us, we manage to stay strong. Until now, we're together. When I was a sophomore student, I prevent myself to befriends with other people because I'm tied with my bestfriends. I want them to just be mine and myself to be just theirs. I'm such a selfish creature. But there came a time when they need to transfer to another school. leaving me behind. At first, I'm worried. There are so many what ifs inside my head like what if they'll forget me? what if we we'll never be the same again? It hurts when they leave but I must say that because of what happened, I have learned to stand in my own feet. I was voted as vice president of our class when I was a junior student. I was surprised because the whole class trust me. I live to the fullest in my junior days. I learned the value of friendship and I made more friends. I don't want to waste any moment specially now that I'm a Senior student. I still have stage fright but now, I learned to accept the truth, learned the value of hardwork and I learned to accept imperfections. I also learned that it's not what outside that counts, its what inside a person. I've learned all this with the help of the people around me and my beloved school. Its true that it's never too late to have a happy childhood. hahaha!

Cutting Classes

Today, in our review class, we discussed about testmanship and the rules and regulations in taking an entrance examination of University of the Philippines. After they gave us the UPCAT forms, the teacher began discussing its contents. I was really listening when the word "oblation" caught my attention. I do remember that one of my teachers in my school tells us a story about this so I approach my bestfriend beside me and ask her something about oblation then we laugh. I meant to ask her again but the professor interrupted us saying "girls at the back, if you don't want to listen, you may now go out of this room. Naiinis na ako sa inyo. kanina pa kayo.". I didn't realize that she was talking to us so I asked my bestfriend again "tayo ba? tayo ba?" but she didn't answer anhd when I looked at her, she looked shocked and that's the time when I realized that we really hit the bulls eye. I felt my face as it turned red. I shrank in my seat and I'm not willing to talk to anyone or even looked at them. What for? they are all looking at our direction. INSTANT STARDOM. wow. I get my bestfriend's phone and I texted everyone I know and I tried to calm myself. because of this embarassment that we've got, we have a brilliant Idea. Infact, so brilliant that you will never try it yourself. we decided to cut our class. I was very mad and all I wanted to do is to scape my misery.

The break came. we go to one of the nearest supermarkets in town and we eat there then after two hours, we go back to fetch our friend Rose Ann. When we saw her, rose ann told us what had happened after we left. And my brain falls back into place. I realized what I did.

The teacher noticed that we left and she made us even more famous. she told an example to my fellow reviewees about what had happened several hours ago. she told them that we left baecause she was so annoyed at us and so on and so forth. Good thing we cut that class or else, I should've crushed her. I have no regrets now because of what I've done. I've decided to do it and I don't have to blame myself because the die is already cast. All I need to do is face the consequences of my action tomorrow.

David Cook and David Archuleta Took the Philippines by Storm.

David Cook together with David Archuleta are here in the Philippines ^^-. They'll have a concert tomorrow and some of my friends are coming to see them live! too bad I can't come because we're far from Manila. today, David Cook sings in GMA's noon time show, Eat Bulaga. He looks simple. Wearing a tee and a pair of jeans. He has a good sense of humor and eventhough he's facing thousands of Filipino people, he is not afraid to be himself. After he sang his version of "Always be my Baby", he told Pia Guanio that he loves Philippine mangoes but he said he still have to try Philippines' balot. I hope he'll like that. He also said that he was really surprised to know that he have thousands of fans here in the Philippines (yes, I'm one of them.). I'm sure it'll be a blast to go to their concert but don't you think it'll be romantic to just watch them from afar? I mean, I'll just watch them in tv. It's still far anyway.

Moment of Truth.

By nationality, I'm a Filipino. By gender, a female and by age, 15. In this world, everybody will criticize you and simply hate you for no special reasons. There are also people who wear different masks and pretend to be your friend but the truth is they curse you. You can't avoid it and instead of avoiding this, just be yourself and don't mind them. I'll tell you something about myself. I'll tell you what I think most of the time when wierd things happened in my life. I'll also tell you how simple things make me laugh and how I manage to prevent laughing so I wouldn't be embarassed.


I'm freaking out when someone look at me from head to toe and then smiled. I just hate it. one time, I was in public utility jeepney (it is used for public transportation here in the Philippines.) and this lady together with the guy beside her keep on staring at my feet. I move my feet to distract them but they're still staring. What's wrong with the two of them?! then I stare at my feet inorder to know what's going on. I can't see anything strange except for my silver anklet. Thank God I was leaving that vehicle or else I could've done something rude. You'll hate me when I'm freaking out.

My appetite depends on the ambience of the place where I ate. I'm thin or should I say skinny. give me a sandwich, an iced tea and few pieces of candy and you don't need to feed me for the whole day. I don't understand why my mom doesn't know the value of that. It's saving. if I'm eating at the place where everybody's eating, I'll eat. No questions asked. But if you'll forced me to eat in a place where nobody's eating, It'll take an hour or two to make me eat. That is, if you can make me eat. My mom is the only person I know who can do that. But ofcourse, I can feel hungry too like a normal person. and when I'm hungry, I'll spend all the bucks that I have for the sake of food but I can't finish it afterwards.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it." is one of my philosophies in life. I don't want to waste my time fixing something that can still be used. Because of this, people misunderstood me as lazy. I'm not a quiet person but sometimes, I just want to be quiet for no special reasons. And I'll condemned anyone who'll disturb me in my thoughts.

I'ts easy to make me laugh. just surprise me or simply laugh. I don't know why but I always laugh when I see my friends laugh.


There's so many things I want to tell you but I have so little time. I hope you enjoyed being a part of me with this post.

...More post to come...

Happy Mother's day.

Recently, I had a fight with my mom. I really don't know the reason why she's acting like that so I didn't mind her. she keeps on talking until her words finally hurt me. I have no courage to explain my side and that's the reason why I'm angry. Then for some reasons, without thinking, I told her something that I shoudn't have said. I know she felt hurt because she still keeps on talking. louder this time. but what can I do? I was mad at that time I can't control myself. I know I'm wrong but I feel ashamed to apologize. I'm the type of person who can't swallow her own pride so its really tough for me.

Days have past. I can't bear it. I'm sure she feels the same way. I can see her at the corner of my eye looking secretly at me and I can't help but smile. Maybe this is the right time to make up. The next day, I saw her with my godmother. I approach them and after a while of talking with my godmother, I approach my mom. Thank God she smiled. haha. I felt good. honestly. then we're okay again. back to normal circumstances.

Tomorrow, we'll celebrate the mother's day together. So mom, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I love you no matter what. Thank you for everything. Happy mother's Day!!!

one of those realizations.

Last Saturday, I went to my best friend's place. we haven't seen each other for months so I was really excited to talk to her about things that happened to me when we're not together and vice versa. In the middle of our conversation, she said something stupid but I quickly realize what she really meant. She said "You can't just wait for that "best" man to cross your path and eventually fall in love with you. I believe in what Lupin said (for new borns, Lupin is an anime character. He steals really expensive things. beware of him by the way ^^-), you will never own the best unless you steal it because all the best things in this world are already owned by someone.". Let's admit it, it's true. you can't always get the best but still, I don't agree with her. Think about it. sure you can't always get the best but you don't need the best. What you need is simply someone who understands you and accept you for who you are. and for some reasons, I still believe in destiny. No matter how lame it was, I still believe that only God knows what's best for me. I trust Him.

By the way, when I got home, I watch television. It made me sick. Sometimes, I hate television shows. Specially those shows that have prizes such as Survivor, Big brother you name it. The contestants trade their integrity and reputation for money. they let the public invade thier privacy and judge them for the sake of bucks. The showbiz industry nowadays takes advantage of all the people who want to be in the business. In a world where everybody watches you and talks about you, you can't just tell them to shut up and mind their own business. because that's why your there. You ought to be talked about. You're there for entertainment. It really annoys me so I turned off the television and sleep instead.

...And finally, I lived happily. But not ever after...

what happened last tuesday. :)

last Tuesday, I have attended my UPCAT review at Prime Vantage Review Center at our school. At first, my day seemed ordinary-- I prayed, my mom prepared our breakfast and I did my own morning rituals. I'm confident though but there's one thing I'm little worried about: Rose ann, my friend who forced me to enroll at Prime Vantage is nowhere to be found. I've texted her and even call her but she's not answering.


Damn. what happened to her? I secretly panicked but I still manage to stay calm. I know this day will be a lucky day for me and I'll never let my worries ruined my day. Or so, I thought. when I entered ICSM- main, I already saw some familiar faces of the boys. I know they will be my classmate because I saw their name the day before. I'm searching for Rose ann but I have no luck. as time pass by, my hopes are fading I told myself, "no way. I will never be stuck with these boys!". I did everything inorder to calm myself. I already went to the guidance office and they told me to go upstairs and just do what I'm supposed to do because some of the girls are just late.


Late?!? they can't fool me. My instinct keeps telling me that I have to face my greatest fear. Well, looks like I have no choice so I've made my decision to go upstairs. When I entered the classroom, I know what I'd do. first, I approach one of the ladies at the corner-- they're the professors and told them that I was one of the reviewees. I expect them to say something long but they didn't. Instead, they told me to sit in one of the chairs far from where the boys are sitting. Wow. I'm lonely. I can feel their stares pentrating through my spine. So I get my cellphone out of my pocket and texted two of my friends but they reply late. I still pretend that I'm texting until one of the boys approach me and asked me if I was the only girl who will take the review. I knew him. he's my classmate when I was in 5th grade. Still hoping for Rose ann, I answered no.


Then the test began. yes. test. it's a pre-test, they probably want to see what we know. the first examination was english. great. I'm a little bit prepared for this one. As for Rose ann, I already lose hope and I didn't expect her to show up but she did! yeah! I did a little celebration in my mind. A welcome party probably. I feel comfortable finally.


I feel good for the rest of the day. At last. Thank God!


Now, I have regained my confidence in the clasroom. Although I'm not always reciting, I see to it that I really did a good job.

Straightening The Curves.

In my 15 years of living, there's one important thing I've learned: once you broke the straight line, you can never make it straight again. But somehow, by tying it together, you can make a stronger line. Once, in my life, I dared to cut the line between myself and my friend for no special reasons. I was young back then and all I wanted to do was to make fun of anything and to push myself and test my limits. I don't care about how they felt because for me, what matters most is that I'm having a really good time. but then, not all ropes became strong when you tied it. Sometimes, you can never make it straight and strong as it was before. no matter how hard you tried, you can't get back what you've lost. That's what happen to me and it's too late for me to repent. I've already done it. I already struck the devil's eye.

After all I've learned my lesson. Its too late. yes. but it makes me a better person. Funny isn't it? you need to fall first and experience defeat in order to learn your lesson. I regret so many decisions I made, but I'm glad that even though I've made wrong decisions, I still find the right path because of faith. I may experience consequences, but it's alright. It's part of life. You'll never know unless you tried. You'll never experience victory until you experienced defeat.